A Vow I Couldn't Keep

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I awoke this morning with anticipation.

The day had finally arrived.

Today, I would be married.

There was only one important thing on my list for today, and that was to get myself and my groom ready for our 5:30 appointment before God and man.

I'd showered, and readied myself to leave, but there was a problem.

Jim was having second thoughts.

Jim was unsure.

We talked.  I'd waited a long time for this.

I made sure he knew:  today was the day.

Today he would marry me, or tomorrow I would move out.

This was not a threat, just a simple statement of facts.

Still, he was undecided.

We were supposed to meet my cousin and her husband en-route, but the time had passed.

The phone rang, and my cousin asked, "Is everything OK?"

"No."

Eventually, her husband, Jim's best friend, spoke with Jim.

I did not know what was said, but when Jim hung up, he got into the shower.

Later, I found out that Jim's friend told him that if he didn't want to lose me, he'd better listen to what I was saying, because I was serious.

Finally, we arrived at my grandmother's house, where we would be married!  We were running later than I'd planned, but there was still time.

Off I went to get dressed.  Let the madness begin!

Something old - I wore a necklace given to me by my grandmother.  It was a gift to her when she was eight, and she'd given it to me when I was eight.

Something new - My wedding dress definitely fit the bill.

Something borrowed - My wedding dress was lined, but I quickly discovered that lining was not thick enough!  What to do?  I needed a slip, but hadn't brought one.  YIKES!  My grandmother had a slip, but it was too big.  Fortunately, she also had a safety pin!

Something blue - My cousin came to my rescue with a tiny blue butterfly hair clip, which we clipped to the hem of my dress.

It was 5:30.  Everyone was in place.  The music began.

I walked down the aisle toward the man I adored, my heart full and happy.

We repeated vows.

We exchanged rings.

We kissed our first kiss as man and wife.

And every act, I took with such sincerity . . . honesty . . . love . . . for marriage is not something to be taken lightly.

It has been 11 years, but I remember this day so well.

And that memory is bittersweet.

For it was 11 years ago today, I took a vow . . .

A vow I couldn't keep.

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