Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Let's Talk Addictions . . .


Hi.  My name is Abigail, and I have a jewelry addiction . . .

Really.  I'm not kidding.  

Jim:  "Every time I turn around you're wearing something new.  What is it?  Do you have a jewelry addiction?"

Me:  "No!  This isn't even new . . ."

Jim (as if I've said nothing):  "You wouldn't like it if I were to just start gambling our money away would you?"

Me:  "No, of course not, but I hardly think that's the same thing, and once again, this isn't new."

Jim:  "You don't need to lie about it.  I just don't want my money being wasted on things that don't matter."

I just let it go . . . because, why bother?

All of my jewelry can be summarized as follows (this includes everything: necklaces, bracelets, lapel pins, rings . . . everything):
-- I own 26 pieces of jewelry in total.
-- Of those, 11/26 were acquired after Jim and I met, with only 7/11 being acquired after we were married.
-- Furthermore, of the 26 pieces of jewelry, Jim's funds, or joint funds have only been expended on 5 pieces for a total jewelry expenditure of approximately $260.00 (this INCLUDES my wedding set) over the course of a DECADE.
-- And of the pieces Jim did contribute toward, he put zero effort into the selection of any of them.  I'll admit, during sentimental moments this grieves my heart.  To me it's kind of romantic to think a man might love you enough to actually put thought into buying a piece of jewelry for you . . . especially something as important as an engagement/wedding ring.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This is the crap abusive relationships are made of.  Arguments that shouldn't be arguments.  Absurd accusations (like jewelry addiction in this case).  And a largely successful, very exacting grip of control over EVERYTHING . . .

It can happen any time . . . any place . . . about any thing . . .  And, it will happen many, many times . . . over and over again . . . f o r e v e r . . .