Leaving . . .

start at the beginning

For my birthday this year (one week ago yesterday), I bought myself a $200 consultation fee with an attorney.  It's difficult to say exactly how I got to this point.  After the January incident, I knew our relationship would never be the same again, but didn't realize just how unhappy I would be continuing with life with this man I not only no longer loved, but no longer trusted with my care and safety.  For me, I supposed it came down to the fact that he was ready to build a house, and I just wasn't.  I could NOT see building a house and becoming even more financially entangled with this man.  So, in spite of all of the fear, I finally stood up for myself and saw an attorney.

My visit with the attorney went well, but honestly, I never realized when they ask how fast you want to move, they're serious.  She was ready to draw up papers that day if I wanted.  But, it was already 5 pm by then and we both needed to get children out of school.  Not to mention I had not yet decided how I was planning to pay the retainer.  So, we scheduled a Monday meeting.

Monday morning we drafted paperwork, and I asked how soon he could be served.  She told me that they would file by mail, so it would take several days just to get paperwork back.  Unless I wanted to file the paperwork in person.  I chose to do this.  Living a double life is stressful.  So, it was scheduled.  Jim would be served today.

Today was a regularly scheduled work day for Jim.  I got up as usual, and helped get him off to work.  Then my day began.  I took a few things to my parents, just in case.  I packed up clothes, medicine, toiletries.  It's amazing just how small our lives are when we really ONLY think about necessities.  I made a trip to town to get a few groceries for Sam and I.  I didn't want to completely mooch off my friend . . .  It sounds so easy, but every action was burdened . . .  Unbelievably heavy . . .

I stayed in contact with a couple of friends, and spoke with my parents.

Sam and I finally arrived at my friend's home around 1:30 or 2 this afternoon.  I have an amazingly gracious friend who, along with her family, has welcomed Sam and I into their home to ensure our safety.  I have our few things unloaded . . . organization shall follow . . . later . . .

I received a call from the process server at 2:25 today.  He was on his way to serve Jim.  My anxiety at that point just skyrocketed . . .  Just waiting . . .  waiting . . . 

Finally a few minutes after 3 pm, my phone rang.  It was Jim.  I answered the phone.  He first asked if there was any way we could work things out.  No.  A 30 minute conversation followed.  I will not burden you with the details, but it went amazingly well.  Outside of trying to lay a guilt trip on me, he was extremely civil.  He claims that he saw this coming.  I don't know.  He assures me he wants things to go as smoothly as possible.  We'll see.  So far so good.

I still plan to stay with Sam at my friend's home for probably at least a week, and we'll take it from there.

I've been so afraid for so long.  I understand that this thing could still get bad.  It could still get ugly.  But now that I've overcome the fear that kept me hostage, I feel free . . .

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